You have done everything right. And still, something essential is missing. This newsletter is for leaders who sense that the gap between who they are on the outside and who they know themselves to be on the inside is the most important territory they have not yet explored. Each letter is a dispatch from that territory - honest, direct, and grounded in 25+ years of work across four continents. Website: https://designyourlifefoundation.com
๐ดThe Leader Who Is Always Okay Is Not a Strong Leader
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Dear Reader, There is a particular kind of leader who never seems rattled. Who responds to every crisis with composure. Who, when asked how they are doing, says: fine. Busy, but fine. Organisations tend to reward this leader. They are promoted. They are held up as models of strength. Their capacity to absorb pressure without visible distress is read as capability. But in my experience, the leader who is always okay is often the most significant source of cultural damage in an organisation, not despite their apparent composure, but because of it. When someone says they are fine, I question it. If you have ever been one of my clients, one of the things we extensively talk about and which I compassionately call you out on are: How Are You and the answer I am okay, or I am fine. No you are not. Are you really? Psychological invulnerability in a leader does not create psychological safety in a team.
It eliminates it.
When leaders model the suppression of difficulty, when they communicate, through their behavior, that being affected by hard things is not acceptable here, the people around them receive that message clearly. They learn that struggle should be hidden. That uncertainty should be managed down rather than named. That the appropriate response to difficulty is performance of competence, not honest acknowledgement of complexity. The result is a culture of surface performance. Teams that look aligned and function adequately. And beneath that surface, the quiet accumulation of unspoken concerns, unresolved tensions, and the particular exhaustion of people who are working hard while simultaneously managing the impression they are giving. This is not what psychological safety means. Psychological safety is not the absence of discomfort. It is the presence of conditions in which people can speak honestly about difficulty without fear of consequence. And those conditions are created, or destroyed, primarily by the behavior of the leader. The leader who is always okay is communicating that difficulty should be absorbed privately. Which means the people working with them are absorbing it privately. Which means the organisation is running on hidden load. The leaders I most respect are not the ones who have eliminated difficulty from their experience. They are the ones who have developed the capacity to be genuinely present with difficulty, their own and others', without being de-stabilised by it. That is a fundamentally different thing from always being okay.
That is what actually builds culture. Not the performance of strength. The genuine embodiment of it. The work I do is about Being and Embodying Leadership itself. You become the walking and talking example of what is to be a human leader, and from that understanding, cultivate the level of psychological safety that allows yourself and your teams to step in, flourish and contribute at even higher levels. People + Performance = Higher ROI. A client testimonial:
The coaching environment allowed me to be vulnerable, search and reflect on my personal & professional life which then helped in shaping the way we related. Thank you Barbra for going beyond and being resourceful with lots of practical information critical for my growth in this Leadership Journey. I highly recommend your services to all especially those who have the โI CANโTโ mentality, because I KNOW that with Barbara, THEY CAN & THEY WILL for itโs all about the mindset and the right Coach: HR Business Partner
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Living, Leading & Operating Your Business from Within ~ Letters from Dr. Barbara Mutedzi
You have done everything right. And still, something essential is missing. This newsletter is for leaders who sense that the gap between who they are on the outside and who they know themselves to be on the inside is the most important territory they have not yet explored. Each letter is a dispatch from that territory - honest, direct, and grounded in 25+ years of work across four continents. Website: https://designyourlifefoundation.com
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